I am stronger than this!

I decided to keep myself honest about sticking with training for all of my fall races I needed to join a run team. I found a great one in Run Vie Racing, and I'm so excited that I took the plunge and signed up. But, as much as I'm looking forward to the kickoff next week, I'm also dreading it. BC (before cancer) I would fly by the seat of my pants and always lived with no fear. Now, after cancer, I find it so hard to get out of my comfort zone. It's hard to meet new people and explain why I wear a compression sleeve, blah blah blah....I hate the subject and the looks on faces when they hear the word cancer, the whole conversation makes people uncomfortable. I've learned to be comfortable with certain places, work, the hospital and home. Meeting new people and going to new places now gives me panic attacks, full blown can't breathe panic attacks. I'm trying to stay calm knowing that I'm going to have to meet a whole new group of people and know that whether it's true or not I will again feel like the odd one. I'm tired of letting all of this stop me from doing new things so I'm really trying to change my way of thinking. It's not going to change overnight but I think it's possible.