When the run isn't fun

The longer I'm on Tamoxifen the worse my joint, bone and muscle aches get. It's hard to walk, it's painful to sit, it's exhausting. I decided to try some compression socks to see if there anything to the hype. I've got a bunch of calf sleeves, some for matching with race outfits, come for recovery after long runs. But the tamoxifen makes my legs swell more and more and when I wear the calf sleeves lately they just push everything into my feet. Last week they didn't go down for a week, it's not only painful but depressing. I feel like I'm litterally trapped in a body that no longer works right. So, trying the socks seemed like the next step. I ended up going with 110% Compression, they have a graduated compression and was going to be good for the run as well as all day for work. I tried them on today's run and they were such a big help! I was supposed to do my long run yesterday but the pain was so bad and it made me too crabby to even try. I had a little bit of a pity party going on and nothing was going to get in the way of that! But today, I decided that no matter how bad that pain, I am getting on the treadmill and giving it a try. Wearing the socks I got to mile 2 before I even checked my mileage, which was incredible. My joints still ached like hell but it was a pain that I could work with. Manageable. So with a lot of walking breaks I finished the 8 miles that I set out to do. It's just a bummer that what used to be fun, a stress release, good time alone has turned into this chore that I have to do or I beat myself up about it. The runs just don't feel good anymore, but I'm determined to keep trying and eventually they have to get better...right...hello?!

I'm gonna need a bigger drawer.....!

After getting a gently nudge from Dave Mari about joining the Half Fanatics I took the plunge, signed up and today got some swag in the mail from them, awesome! And, also way out of my comfort zone, I signed up with Run Vie Racing and the kickoff for their fall racing season is next Saturday, and they just posted the picture of their new gear. Love it!! I'm looking forward to a good fall season with lots of races, no injuries, and meeting a lot of new people who share my crazy love of running!!

The race that never was.....

This wasn't a race in 2013, but it was worth mentioning.

In 2007 I entered the NYC marathon lottery and got in. So exciting and figured it was my one chance to go. I ran my best clock time there, I got there trained and gave it my all. nothing but good memories of 5 huge bridges!

I decided to try and get in again, odds are totally against me, and in 2011 I get in. What? I did? Ok, so I'll start training again. then in July I find out that I have cancer and this race is not in my future. the good news was they will let you defer it one time so I figured my year would be 2012. Slowly trying to get my running back I figured even if I had to walk it would be fun. But the closer it got the more I didn't want to go all the way to NYC just to gut it out, it wasn't worth it. So with a few weeks to go I decided to bag it, my 1 deferral gone. Then, Hurricane Sandy hit and the entire race was cancelled, never in the history of this race had it been cancelled. I was so glad I hadn't finalized my travel plans. someone was watching out for me. I again was told that because they cancelled it I could have 1 more magical deferal. But something told me that once was enough, I was happy with my 2007 performance and decided to take my money back and put it towards another race. What a strange turn of events. The race already had the shirts and medals so they mailed them out, mine came a few weeks later so it's a strange souvenir of a race that never happened.

2013 Rock and Roll Half St Pete

Somehow I talked my friend Jen's husband into giving her a race entry and flight to Florida as her Christmas present. I need to see my friend, she needs to get out of the Michigan winter, perfect February race! We went to the expo, always a good one when it's a Rock and Roll race. We got lots of goodies, walked aound way too much and didn't hydrate, the usual when we get together. Race day was beautiful weather, cool but sunny. This was definitely the smallest RNR I've ever done. On average the ones I've races have had around 15,000-25,000 runners. i think this one has less than 6,000. Which is good and bad, I like the hype of a huge crowd, although it was nice to not be crammed in like sardines at the start. I think it was sompeting with some pretty big races like the Disney Princess that same weekend. Didn't matter, running with my friend Jen is good no matter how small or big the race. and when I say running with her, I mean that we are running the same streets, not together. She finishes, gets all the food and drinks they give out, uses the port a potty and then heads back to find me along the course. then she gets all the food and goodies again...she should be 500lbs by now! I think she was the fastest master or won her age group, something gross like that. She got a plaque mailed to her, how is it that we are friends??! We ran into running icon Dave Mari and took lots of pictures with him. We all sat and talked on the seawall, beautiful morning, good friends!

2013 Gasparilla Classic. One weekend, 2 great races!

How great is Gasparilla weekend?! If you are a runner, it's great! They offer a 5K, 8K, 10K, 15K and half marathon. They used to have a full marathon but not anymore. I'm not sure what's behind that but it's disappointing to not have a full in our city. But, other than that it's a great weekend! The expo is huge, great vendors and lots of pirate themed race shirts, if you like pirates. Before I got cancer I had a horrible case of plantar fascitis and when Gasparilla rolled around I thought I'd give the 15K a try. I felt good at the start, and it was crazy how good I felt as the miles ticked off. Not much foot pain, so great to be out in a race again! I finished and felt so good I ran from the finish to the expo ans signed up for the half the next day. Later that evening I thought "maybe it wasn't such a great idea to sign up for the second one" but it was too late, I was comitted. The next day I wasn't really feeling it but I headed down for the half marathon. I started out slow, very slow, and at the halfway point I realized that I was starting to get a second wind and felt awesome. That was a great weekend of local races! So, the year after cancer I decided it was time to take on the 15K/half marathon weekend again. I wasn't sure how it was going to be on this side of cancer but I felt great for both of them. I word a survivor shirt for the second race and got a lot of encouraging words from fellow runners, which is what I needed to get through it. I had a huge sense of accomplishment knowing I could take on the weekend of races again. My girls came and ran the 8K, they cheered me to the finish as their race started as I was finishing. I love when we can do the races together!

2013 Best Damn Race!

The Best Damn Race may have been the best damn race, really! The guys putting this on were runners giving runners exactly what runners want out of a race. They had a 5K, 10K and half marathon. I signed myself up for the half but had a small injury and not wanting to make it worse I dropped to the 10K. My girls joined me for the 10K and it was so much fun! It was in Safety Harbor and was such a nice day, great race support, enthusiastic volunteers, and the party afterwards was awesome! And the medal is a bottle opener! Leading up to the race I received emails from them with tips and wishing me luck, really getting me excited for race day. Then the night before they sent out another saying how excited they were to be hosting us and wishing us a great race. It's little things that make a big impact. The course was nice, I'd never been to Safety Harbor before and this was a great way to see it. Afterwards they had so much great food, beer and tons of vendors with lots of goodies for runners. They had a DJ and he was giving gift cards for dance contests, so much fun. This is definitely one that will always be on our race calendar!

2013 ING Miami half marathon....

I wanted to do as many half marathons this year as I physically could so when I saw Miami I thought...road trip! I didn't have anyone to go with so I headed down by myself for some really good alone time in a hotel, those with kids know how awesome this is! I stayed down in South Beach so I'd be close to a shuttle to the start. I like Miami but if you're not on of the fabulous people you really don't get very good service. Not at the hotel, not at the restaurant, I'm definitely out of place there. While everyone else looks like they just got off the runway I am wearing running clothes, as usual. I stayed in a great hotel, but my fire alarm wouldn't stop beeping, and since I wasn't fabulous I couldn't get anyone to come up and fix it....so I took it off the ceiling. I was left with no choice! On race morning I had a few blocks to walk to catch a shuttle to the start and I was the only one not still out drinking, everyone I passed was still bar hopping. Crazy, it's 4:30am and everyone is still out partying! The start was super crowded and in an area that wasn't really meant for that size crowd. But, I'm still excited to be doing another half! The first half was awesome, great scenery running by the cruise ships and lots of beautiful homes. The second half wasn't as scenic but had good crowd support. I'm not sure that I'd do it again, at least not alone, but I was glad I could cross it off my list!

A big race for me, the 26.2 Run with Donna Breast cancer race

This was a race I always wanted to do but never got around to figuring out the travel etc. But after I got sick I decided this was going on my calendar. My treatments ended in December of 2011 and by Feb of 2012 I wasn't at the point where I felt well enough to go there. So I waited a year and brought my husband with me. It was a truly inspiring race, a great expo and I met a lot of wonderful supportive people. I still didn't see anyone with a sleeve on. Since I have lymphedema I'm always on the lookout for anyone with a sleeve, but they are like unicorns! Oh well. It was especially cold and I wasn't prepared for that so we had to do some last minute shopping, as did everyone else and we all ended up at the same sports store. There was some scuffling over tights and long sleeves but I managed to get out of there with some stuff for the race. Dave Mari was there, duh, and it was really fun to see him in person. He introduced me to Donna Deegan on the race course. There was a memorial mile on the beach which was so fantastic! Lots of crowds and aside from the uphill at mile 13 it was the best clock time since I got sick....although I won't tell you what that was.

One of my biggest supporters, my oldest friend!

Tammy and I met in junior high and we were the kids who looked like they were from Mars. I had a mohawk, she had very asymmetrical hair. We both wore pointy shoes and medals and anything we could find that looked like we were punks in Europe, not the tiny town in Michigan that we lived in. She is someone who has always been there for me, seen all the good and bad and still loves me. I would do anything for her and only wish we didn't see each other so infrequently. But when we do, it's all giggles until we are crying. She's one of the only people I know who really gets me and I treasure her frienship. I visit her on Labor Day weekend so I can do the Rock and Roll Virginia Beach half marathon. I drag her to the expo, it's not her thing but she walks it all with me. Her daughter came last time and we ended up dragging home 3 soccer balls and a hug blow up Charlie the Tuna pool float. She's a great sport and I got her a shoe charm that says "running sucks" and it was perfect for her. When I was going through treatment she flew to my house and took care of me. She made me a, from scratch, banana cream pie because she knew it was my favorite. I love this girl so much! Not many out there like her.

It's all about the bling....

I keep every medal, every bib, every shirt from all of my races. I love each and every one of them. A friend gave my my medal hanger and although it says marathons, rest assured that they aren't all marathons.

Komen Race Ambassador

I was recently chosen to be on the Komen Race for the Cure Ambassador team, they only chose 6 of us so I was so excited when I heard I got a spot. I will try my best to get the word out about these fabulous races, one in St Pete and one in Lakeland. The Lakeland race is one of my favorites, probably because I came in 2nd survivor! It's a great race, you finish by running into the baseball stadium and they had a very emotional closing ceremony.

I am stronger than this!

I decided to keep myself honest about sticking with training for all of my fall races I needed to join a run team. I found a great one in Run Vie Racing, and I'm so excited that I took the plunge and signed up. But, as much as I'm looking forward to the kickoff next week, I'm also dreading it. BC (before cancer) I would fly by the seat of my pants and always lived with no fear. Now, after cancer, I find it so hard to get out of my comfort zone. It's hard to meet new people and explain why I wear a compression sleeve, blah blah blah....I hate the subject and the looks on faces when they hear the word cancer, the whole conversation makes people uncomfortable. I've learned to be comfortable with certain places, work, the hospital and home. Meeting new people and going to new places now gives me panic attacks, full blown can't breathe panic attacks. I'm trying to stay calm knowing that I'm going to have to meet a whole new group of people and know that whether it's true or not I will again feel like the odd one. I'm tired of letting all of this stop me from doing new things so I'm really trying to change my way of thinking. It's not going to change overnight but I think it's possible.

Happy Monday

I think I overdid it this weekend. That happens. But although I try and listen to my body I know that I will not get any stronger without a little push now and then. So, get ready sore joints. I'm ready for a new week of challenges. This is week 5 of my training for the Rock and Roll half in Savannah. Make it a great Monday!

Back in Chicago for some unfinished business....

I had gotten 3 of my favorite women to register for the Rock and Roll Chicago half marathon in July 2011.  Three weeks before the race I was diagnosed with cancer and had to cancel. One year later Jen and I returned to kick this race's butt and finish what we set out to do. It was hot, I wasn't trained but it was the perfect place to celebrate 1yr after surgery.

Stepping out of my comfort zone....and into a half marathon during treatment!

Throughout my 4 months of chemo I had more bad days than good. That is, until the weekend of the Disney Wine and Dine half marathon. For one night I had enough energy to not only step out into the world without my head covered, but to complete the race with my arms raised high at the finish line. It was with this race that I knew things would never be the same, but they could still be great.